Bella's Blog

EP 51: JON BIRGER - MODERN DATING

there's a lot of scientific research on how sex ratios affect human behavior

when men are in oversupply, women are more choosy, more monogamous. When women are in oversupply, men more likely to play the field

in "Date-onomics, " Birger wrote about the rise of hookup culture in the 2000s and early 2010s not really having to do with porn or social media but rather as a byproduct of lopsided gender ratios. This wouldn't be a problem if we were more open-minded. College grads want to date and marry other college grads

"Too Many Women" by Marsha Gutentag. She lays out the connection between Me Too & behavior of men exploiting these unbalanced sex ratios

women are more open-minded when it comes to education, men are the choosy ones

David Buss says that for women, intelligence & resource allocation maps onto intelligence & education and a big barrier to entry for a lot of guys who don't match them on their intelligence & their educational credentialing

Buss & other evolutionary biologists are all following guy named Robert Trivers

Trivers is the preeminent evolutionary biologist, put forth an idea originally from Darwin that says that males are hardwired to chase

Trivers did this study with fruit flies. Male flies turned out to be the pursuers and 20% of the males never found a mate

"Inferior" - point of the book is to debunk this study/idea

this idea was built upon by Buss, Miller, Pink and became accepted wisdom

Patricia Gawadi became frustrated with Rivers after studying mating behaviors of eastern bluebirds. The females were actually flying away to mate. Triver's acolytes thought she was lying

this study with flies also illustrated "hypergamy" notion

she redid the study and found out that the female fruit flies approached the males just as often. Also found that it was incorrect that a huge population of flies were not mating

latest research says that culture drives testosterone levels. There's a decline in men's levels when they take on more nurturing role. Influenced by cultural constructs

The podcast host talks about the story of the woman at the start of the book. The woman had a certain idea of how her life was supposed to turn out, but she has no regrets about how it actually turned out

There's a value in taking romance seriously when younger & a statistical advantage for women, but it doesn't mean there's no hope

divorce rate is 6x higher when meeting on an app

study by Michael Rosenfield who likes online dating. In the appendix of the study, it lists breakup rates influenced by how couples meet. 16% from the apps, 9% from friends and family, 8% from neighbors, 6% from work