Daniel Pink (The Power of Regret)
the phrase "at least" makes you feel better
counterfactual thinking are situations that run counter to the facts
"if only I did this....: makes you feel bad so it is an upward counterfactual
"if only" make us feel worse, but they make us do better
reasoning process of what you could have done better
most people think they have free will & everything happens for a reason. People giving a human answer to figure out what they have control over
4 main regrets:
boldness - romance, education, career [didn't take the chance]
moral
foundation - micro decisions that add up
connection
zero risk proposition - worst case scenario & status quo are the same
get out of real time! consult future Isabella
3 step process:
disclosure - emotions are abstract, convert them into language, people like us more
compassion - pull back, talk to self in third person "what is future Isabella going to think about this?" best friend talking, self-pity & self-aggrandizement are narcissistic, America over-indexed on self-esteem, having higher self-esteem actually makes you try less hard
distance