Bella's Blog

I don’t want to change my life so I am creating a state of anxiety

I have a goal of not going out

I have a goal of not socializing

I have a goal of not growing

Isabella’s worry is a symptom that she has created in order to achieve XYZ goal

The meaning that I give to my experiences determines my life

I am always in alignment with some goal

Also I don’t want to put effort into a project that I am telling myself won’t work out

I like the feeling of being a nomad

These thoughts…these feelings…goal achieved

I CREATE THE REASONS WHY SOMETHING WON'T WORK OUT:

“I have a learning problem” I tell myself instead of saying “I just think a little differently”

“I don’t know the market”

“I am not social”

“I don’t have the energy to look things up” (that means I make the task as EASY as possible)

Pg. 20: emotions are means to achieve present goals

Adlerian psych says personality is lifestyle

Lifestyle is how I see myself and the world

How Isabella sees herself and the world is based on a fixed mindset:

“I am a worrier” instead say: “I have a worried view of the world”

“I have a negative view of myself” [You choose your lifestyle & your view so its always evolving]

Isabella is choosing to be unhappy right now

I am making the decision not to change my lifestyle because I am creating the fear of experiencing emotions because I am in alignment with a goal of....

My level of competence doesn’t matter

My environment doesn’t matter

My past experiments don’t matter

“It’s good for me to be unhappy because its good for me to be safe” (even tho I tell myself risk is a value of mine

I tell myself being nomadic is a value of mine even tho I am not doing it now!

I say I hate that word safe, but I really do like feeling safe (no risk in relationships, no risk in jobs)

I am choosing my lifestyle now

I am choosing to view myself negatively now

I have the goal of not changing my view of the world and so I am choosing to be unhappy

Emotions of unhappiness is what is helping me achieve the goal of not changing my lifestyle

Act on instant decision, then feeling follows

I want to leave possibility of “I could do it if I try” open

“I have decided to not start liking myself” so I focus on what I lack by comparing myself

“I can’t do this because I have this fear”

Easier to live with the possibility of if only the fear is gone

Adler rejects causal relationships so it doesn’t matter how much I psycho analyze

I have a goal of not being myself around others so I create feelings of anxiety

Goal achieved: The feeling of possibility

Created the reasons why writing won't work out: "I feel stressed so its not a good time," "I don't have the energy," "I haven't done any stretching" "I feel tired"

Personality is lifestyle

Lifestyle is how I see myself

Creating certain emotions that are in alignment with a goal of not....

Making the decision not to change my lifestyle ["personality"]

...with a goal of overanalyzing my plans [a goal of not finishing]

...with a goal of not finishing tasks [creating feelings of distraction]

Multi-switching is my value now because I have a goal of not finishing because I have created feelings of distraction

...goal of not socializing so I've created feelings of social anxiety

A goal of feeling safe

A goal of feeling unhappy so I am choosing not to recite those "soundtracks"

Goal of not changing lifestyle because I like the feeling of possibility and having options open

  1. Emotions [self-creating]

  2. Goal

We do not suffer from the trauma but we make out of them whatever we can to create our purpose

Not determined by experiences

It's my goal to inflate trauma

"You got angry so you could shout" created anger

Choose how you feel [like existentialist philosophy!!!]

Not past causes, but goals