Pg 177-182: the worksheet for the 24/7 calendar & ideal 24/7 calendar
Repressed rage
Wellness is a state of action
Adrenaline floods, cortisol rises, day is fine, but the next day it's below baseline
Adrenaline is normal but cortisol is not, cortisol dips, needs more rest now
There is a chronic stressor that is not going away, which is when chronic stress builds up [an stress-activating situation]. Only bad when the chronic stress outpaces our capacity to process it. This happens because we have to be appropriate socially or it's safer. There are many reasons why stress responses have been denied, ignored, suppressed
Fight? feeling: irritated, annoyed, frustrated, angry, irate, enraged flight? feeling: unsure, worried, anxious, scared, frightened, terrified Freeze? feeling: shut down, numb, immobilized, disconnected, petrified
Sympathetic "with emotion" Parasympathetic "beyond emotion" [system that controls freeze]
most efficient way to complete the cycle is physical exercise for 20-60 minutes
six second kiss and twenty second hug is the best
Pg 36 - how struggle can help:
"Struggle can increase creativity and learning, strengthen your capacity to cope with greater difficulties in the future, and empower you to continue working toward goals that matter to you. Reappraisal even changes our brain functioning: The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex activates, which damps the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which damps the amygdala, which reduces the stress response"
Positive reappraisal = deciding that the effort, discomfort, frustration, unanticipated obstacles are worth it because it's an opportunity to learn
Change the Monitor's expectancies about how difficult it will be or how long it will take
Pg 47 - stress changes our decision-making:
"Our tendency to cling to the broken thing we have rather than let it go and reach for something new isn't just a result of social learning. The stress (fear, anxiety, etc.) underlying the belief changes our decision-making, so that the more stressed we feel about change, the less likely we are to do it. Say a squirrel hears a noise in the leaves somewhere close by, so she stops for a moment, listens...hears nothing else. But she's vigilant now. Her stress response is activated. And she stays foraging in her current patch, because there's more risk in trying a new patch, what with that potential hidden predator rustling the leaves. It doesn't matter how many more nuts and seeds are in the next patch if there's also a hawk there that will eat her. And the resource abundance of the environment you're in changes how you decide to quit or stay. In a resource-rich environment, people actually quit and move on to the next opportunity sooner, because the risk of the move is lower. It's easier to change jobs when you've got four offers"
Pg 46: decision grid
Pg 52-53: worksheet for incremental goals
-soon: achievable without requiring patience
-certain: goal within your control
-positive: something that feels good, not just avoids suffering
-concrete: measurable
-specific
-personal
When redefining winning, you set goals that are achievements in themselves and success is its own reward [not the same as rewards for making progress]
"Running in the background of your awareness is what neuroscientists call the "default mode network," a collection of linked brain areas that function as a kind of low-grade dreaming when your attention is not focused on a task. When your mind is "wandering," your default mode network is online. It assesses your present state and it plans for the future..."
"Walking away from a task or a problem doesn't mean you're "quitting" or giving up. It means you're recruiting all your brain's processes for a particular task-including the capabilities that don't involve your effortful attention....so for example, sometimes the "rest" Emily's brain needed was not a low-demand task like laundry or YouTube, but a different kind of writing. Result: She wrote a novel at the same time as writing this book. Amelia worked full-time as a professor of music and conduced a children's choir, while writing the book"
"That's the percentage of time your body and brain need you to spend resting. It's about ten hours out of every twenty-four. It doesn't have to be every day; it can average out over a week or a month or more. But yeah. That much"
Pg 169 - what the 42% might look like: 8 hours of sleep
20 minutes of stress-reducing conversation
30 minutes of physical activity
30 minutes paying attention to food
30 minutes doing something extra [prep for sleep, extra physical activity, social play time...]
"That includes all meals, shopping, cooking, and eating, and it doesn't have to be all at once. It can be with people or alone but it can't be while working or driving or watching TV or even listening to a podcast. Pay attention to your food for half an hour a day. This counts as rest partly because it provides necessary nourishment and partly because its active rest, change of pace, apart from the other domains of your life. Think of it as meditation"
Different people have different needs sleep-wise, socially, or exercise
Pg 175: how to fill out the actual 24/7 calendar
Pg 176: how to fill out the Ideal 24/7 calendar